i feel so unattached to this baby growing inside me and it just makes me wanna cry i just want the baby to be here so ican feel something i dont know wat to do
Honey Im the same. Sadly Im very blurgh to this little baby that was sorta planned (we wanted to TTC in 2011 but were doing nothing to stop getting preg) where as I never had an issue bonding with my unborn surprise babies. Its hard to feel ok talking about and I have a hard time remembering that this is normal.
I've felt the same on & off through this pregnancy. It was planned, but happened quite quickly and then I questioned whether it was the best 'plan' to make. I've got an almost 2yo & am dreading some aspects of having 2 in 2 years. But I remember it was a process of bonding with the first. And for all the stress caused (she has always been a really, really, really bad sleeper), I now can say whole-heartedly that even if I could go back, I wouldn't change a thing with her. I assume the same will happen with this one...
TBH, there will probably be days through the pregnancy, & then even after the bub is born, that you'll feel detached from them. But there will be more days when you love them. A lot of it has to do with how much energy you have - so take care of yourself & I think you'll find that the better you feel yourself, the better you'll feel in relation to the bub
I'm so sorry you're feeling so down. I hope you start feeling better soon, or at least the baby is not far off, so you can look forward to holding your little one. Pregnancy is really such a hard thing to go through, you have no idea how it will make you feel, what emotions you will endure. Maybe take the last few weeks to focus on yourself, get some really good rest, get your haircut, etc, pamper yourself, and then hopefully it will cheer you up, and get you prepared for your little bubba. all the best
i just had a thought to, could it be as you are so close to the end the reality of it is all sinking in, or not hitting yet? i remember with dd i wasnt sure i would know how to love a girl (as if its realy diffrent to boys) hope its just a case of it all feeling to surreal like its not realy happening, after all it is a hard concept to get your head arround, one day you have a big belly, the next you have a bub.
your great for having made it this far not knowing!!! i wouldnt be able to cope i would have gone nuts, i was paranoid at the end with dd they got the pic wrong on the scan and she was a third boy, it got to the point i ended up with 2 hospy bags, one girls and one boy! once you know and can get the definate coulors im sure you will have a great bond. xxx
Hun, I felt like that. I still kinda do & she's on her way! Its only been the last week or so I've actually thought about the tiny baby cuteness. Before that it was 'what am I doing to myself??'
It is scary, but you will feel better xx
Massively big hugs JwithJ, I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better, but I am not sure what to say. I couldn't read and not let you know my heart goes out to you. You have come so far, I can't believe Bubs is nearly here, seems like yesterday we were in the TTC group lol.
I think from myself having a loss before this pregnancy I refused to believe it would result in an actual baby. So I spent the entire 1st trimester not letting myself get too excited, or bond, even at the 12 week scan. My DH would rub my belly and talk to bubs telling him to grow "big and strong, big and strong" and I would just look at him like "don't be silly, there may not be a baby yet". Well, I have managed to get past that, only as I had to, but still feel nervous that I may not get my baby in the end. But I figure once Bubs is here I will feel completely different, as I am sure you will too.
Hang in there you are right at the very end. All the best, and I look forward to seeing your Birth announcement xxx
I haven't bonded with either of my bubs before they were born. It takes a couple of months of getting to know them for me to feel attached to them. I think there is a strong expectation in society to feel instant love for our unborn/newborn babies but I see it as unrealistic to love someone you have yet to meet, especially when you don't even know what gender it is iykwim. But maybe I am just a cold hearted biatch lol
take heart, take five, spend time out for yourself, if it makes you happy, spend some time daydreaming about what it will be like when they're here ...
but don't beat yourself up about it, because it's easy to feel this way.
It seems just from the replies here that you're certainly not alone.. chin up chicky.. it's good to talk about the difficult things.. get it off your chest.
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i hope you feel better soon, once you have bub and can hold your bundle, it will make the world melt arround you. take care and rest up.
) hope its just a case of it all feeling to surreal like its not realy happening, after all it is a hard concept to get your head arround, one day you have a big belly, the next you have a bub.
No advice sorry
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JwithJ :hugs:
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